Chapter Sixteen: The Ironclad Straight Man

Perhaps it was love at first sight, or maybe just an uncontrollable impulse, or simply a desire to retaliate against her earlier teasing. In any case, Lin Lei’s mind went blank, and he kissed her.

The moment their lips touched, Yang Xueli tensed up, her eyes squeezed shut, body rigid, and her arms around Lin Lei’s neck tightened involuntarily.

Anyone unaware of the situation might have thought she was the one initiating the kiss.

“Mmm... ah! Ow, ow! It hurts, it hurts! I was wrong, I was wrong, alright? Spare me, lady hero!” Practically struggling to escape her “death grip,” Lin Lei felt as if he were about to be strangled; all thoughts of savoring the moment vanished.

After all, Yang Xueli was an Evolver. In her nervousness, she’d misjudged her own strength—it was understandable.

The instant she heard Lin Lei plead for mercy, she relaxed her hold.

But having suffered once, even if Lin Lei had the courage of a bear or a leopard, he wouldn’t dare try to steal another kiss.

Beautiful moments are always fleeting. Just as the two of them were enveloped in a hint of intimacy, the flying device had already brought them to their destination.

Setting Yang Xueli down, Lin Lei’s tone softened considerably. “Just wait here for me, don’t go any further.”

Not far off, a handful of zombies were already crawling up from the gentler slopes.

“No way! Since I’m here, I want to be on the front lines. Let me help you!” Yang Xueli’s voice was resolute, tinged with a touch of coquettishness that made it hard for Lin Lei to refuse.

“In that case, I’ll lend you this gun. You’ll be in charge of long-range fire support—focus on the Level Two strength-type zombies. But let’s be clear: since I’m providing the weapon, you’ll only get half the material rewards when we exchange them later. And keep in mind, the ammo for this thing is expensive—use it sparingly.” As he handed her the tactical rifle, Lin Lei rambled on with his instructions.

“You... you really are a big fool!” Yang Xueli had never seen anyone this clueless about romance; they were speaking entirely different languages.

She’d volunteered to help out of her own initiative, never considering any compensation. Yet this obtuse fool had to ruin the mood with such practical talk.

It was like a girl inviting a boy to a movie, tickets already bought, and the boy responds, "Since you invited me, I won’t pay for everything. We’ll split it."

“What did I say wrong?” Lin Lei still didn’t get it. “You’re not happy with the arrangement? You know, this is already the best deal I can offer. How about you just stay here and use the gun for self-defense?”

Apparently, doing business with the system for so long had really warped his way of thinking.

“You did nothing wrong! It’s all my fault!” Yang Xueli retorted, then ignored Lin Lei altogether, rifle in hand, heading forward to find a shooting position.

“Ah, women...” Lin Lei could only sigh helplessly.

He knew Yang Xueli was truly angry, though he couldn’t figure out why.

“Host, I’ve told you before—being this stingy, it’s no wonder you’re still single.” Even the system couldn’t help taking a jab at him.

“So what should I do? Caseless ammo is expensive! If I give her a proper share, I’ll be losing money!” Lin Lei was still hung up on the split.

“It’s not about the split at all.”

“Then what is it?”

“For ten contribution points, after the battle, I’ll customize a romantic gift package just for you! Guaranteed to win the lady’s heart!” The system, it turned out, had discovered a new business opportunity.

“Knew it! Even you want to fleece me for contribution points—don’t pretend it’s not about profit! You’re a system! Do you have no shame?” Lin Lei couldn’t help snapping back.

“System prompt: Shame cannot be exchanged for contribution points...”

After being tricked repeatedly, Lin Lei decisively ignored the system’s suggestions. For now, he couldn’t think of any way to break the awkwardness except to draw his laser greatsword and vent his frustration on the zombies.

There were supposed to be around twelve thousand zombies approaching from the left, but the mountainside wasn’t spacious—at most, two or three hundred could attack at once.

The laser greatsword was indeed formidable. Whether it was Level One or Level Two zombies, to the blade they were like tofu meeting a steel knife—instantly minced.

The only trouble was the endless waves of zombies. No sooner was one wave dealt with than the next surged forward, relentless and unceasing.

Lin Lei was human, not a machine. Such high-intensity combat, even with the energy booster’s help, was rapidly draining his stamina.

“System, do you have any drinks or pills for quick stamina recovery?” Desperate, Lin Lei decided to spend some points.

“Not only stamina boosters, but also brain, blood, and kidney supplements—I have them all. But with your current weak constitution, my genuine tonics aren’t suitable for you yet. How about a thousand cases of Red Bull? Only one contribution point for redemption,” the system replied.

Lin Lei had always relied on high-tech gear, never considering enhancing his own strength. Thus, he was still an ordinary human. Recklessly taking supplements would only result in his body being unable to withstand the energy surge, leading to his demise.

“Does Red Bull actually restore stamina?” Lin Lei was skeptical.

“The advertisements are pretty convincing. Plus, these are improved formulas from me. Drink one while resting, and your stamina will recover faster.”

Judging by the ads, not the effects?

“I don’t even have time to rest right now!” Lin Lei gasped between swings of his greatsword.

After half an hour of intense fighting, Lin Lei had lost track of the waves, and of the number of zombies he’d slain.

He could easily fly into the air to rest and recover, or simply escape altogether.

Yet, glancing back at Yang Xueli, who was still providing covering fire, he dismissed the idea of leaving her behind.

“Five hundred meters ahead: Level Three zombie detected. Retrieval will yield one contribution point...” For the first time in this battle, the system announced the presence of a Level Three zombie.

The system’s alerts were calibrated to threat level—the more dangerous the target, the earlier the warning. Harmless ones triggered a prompt at just a few dozen meters; minor threats would be flagged at one or two hundred meters.

But this time, with a warning at five hundred meters, Lin Lei was on high alert.

“Can the laser sword handle it?” His first thought was whether his current weapon could do the job. If not, he’d have to grab Yang Xueli and run, or exchange for a stronger weapon.

“In theory, yes. But with your current abilities—even equipped with the Loner exoskeleton—your odds of success in close combat are less than twenty percent.” The system actually took the initiative to offer a tactical analysis, worried Lin Lei might get himself killed.

“What if I give the laser sword to Yang Chunxi?” Lin Lei thought of his formidable brother-in-law.

“A Level Three speed Evolver, equipped with the laser sword alone, has a seventy percent success rate. Add the Loner exoskeleton, and it’s over ninety percent.” The system’s analysis was clear.

Same equipment, same situation—Lin Lei’s odds were twenty percent, while his brother-in-law’s exceeded ninety. It was a humbling comparison.

“System, I want to become an Evolver!”