Chapter Forty-Three: Cross-Eyed

“Big brother, truly unexpected—so you survived! Things have just gotten interesting!” The mysterious man hovering in midair bowed deeply to Wu Ming.

“Big brother? Are you talking to me? I’m an only child, no siblings here! Don’t go making up family ties. And besides, are you as handsome as I am?” Wu Ming pointed at his nose.

“You mean he’s… he’s…” Huapi’s hand trembled slightly.

“As long as you know. If you dare spill the secret, I’ll peel your skin. Huapi, I’m leaving first—take good care of my big brother and the others, no more games! I don’t care about the rest, but don’t you dare harm my big brother!” The mysterious man began climbing higher into the clouds, as if there were invisible stairs, growing smaller and fainter until he vanished completely.

“What a lunatic. Who the hell are you? My little brother’s in my pants, damn it.” Wu Ming jabbed a finger skyward, cursing offhandedly.

Huapi seemed extremely wary of Wu Ming, dodging aside in a flash, then flapping his wings to hover above the ground.

“Stop shouting, he’s gone. Next time you meet, you can ask your ‘little brother’ yourself. I wouldn’t dare meddle in your identities! That gentleman’s methods are truly terrifying!” As Huapi spoke of that mysterious figure, he involuntarily glanced toward where the man had disappeared.

“Come on, you fierce woman, come here. Let’s spar, so I can show you my true strength!”

“Don’t think that just because you stripped and your whole family’s been cuckolded, I’ll feel sorry for you! You’re nothing but a green-haired extra, doomed to get killed off soon—a pathetic weakling with a combat strength of less than five!” Ling Mei launched her signature split kick—no one could fathom how such slender, shapely legs could unleash such explosive force.

“Not bad! On the level of raw strength, you’re almost as strong as an ordinary Great Shaman of the Wu tribe!” Huapi dodged Ling Mei’s kick with a slight twist of his body.

“Unfortunately, brute force alone will never be enough to defeat me! Little princess of the Enchantment Clan, you’ll have to try harder!” Huapi beat his wings, laughing heartily.

“Your ugly laugh is unbearable!” Suddenly, Xiao Mei appeared behind Huapi and hurled a massive fireball, slamming him to the ground. Flames roared, filling the air with the acrid stench of burning flesh and a cloud of thick, black smoke.

“Thanks!” Ling Mei nodded at Xiao Mei in acknowledgment.

She then planted her left foot firmly on Huapi, who was trying to crawl out of the smoking crater, and with a powerful thrust from her right, sent him hurtling into a distant mountain. Before Huapi could regain his bearings from the impact, she rushed over and delivered a crushing elbow to his face, then pummeled his slick, blue-green body with a barrage of blows, producing a rapid-fire crackling.

“Impressive combo! Did your human father teach you that?” Huapi transformed into a human skin, floating weightlessly away, emerging two meters off to the side like a cicada shedding its shell, and murmured as he watched Ling Mei fiercely assaulting his former body.

“Huapi, the beauty!” Like a sheet of paper, Huapi shimmered with a ring of red light, then accelerated, sweeping toward Ling Mei’s body.

Ling Mei hastily drew her whip from her waist, fending off Huapi’s attacks several times in succession. With every strike, Huapi split in two, doubling their numbers. As more and more Huapis filled the air, Ling Mei began to struggle, nearly being ensnared more than once.

“Amitabha, Golden Bell Shield!” A semi-transparent, metallic energy shield descended like an inverted bell, protecting the monk Luokong and Ling Mei. Several Huapis wrapped themselves around the shield, tightening and squeezing so forcefully that the energy field began to distort. Yet, after repeated assaults, Huapi still could not break through and finally drifted away in search of new targets.

“I hate plastic bags floating in front of me the most!” Lord Dog bit down on one of the Huapis, chewing noisily as if munching on gum, and after a few bites, swallowed it with a gulp.

“Not bad, quite chewy!” Lord Dog began pursuing the Huapis, devouring over a dozen before letting out a satisfied belch, clearly full.

All the Huapis kept their distance, terrified he might leap up and eat them again—being bitten and chewed by a dog was a painful fate none wished to share.

“There’s no end to this, and we have to be on guard against being possessed at any moment. What should we do?” Director Baolong asked anxiously.

“Summon Hou Yi, unleash the area attack—pew pew pew!” the Music Sprite said mischievously, blinking her big eyes.

“Disciple Fang Baolong of the Wu tribe, requests the descent of the Great Shaman Hou Yi!” Director Baolong swiftly formed hand seals and stomped the ground repeatedly, but no matter how many times he tried, nothing happened. Sweat beaded on his brow from anxiety.

“Hmm, Huapi?” At that moment, a powerful aura swept over them, a resonant, magnetic voice rang out, and a flash of white light revealed Hou Yi himself.

“Arrow Rain!” Hou Yi, taking in the floating Huapis and the struggling group, instantly cast his area-of-effect skill.

Gigantic light arrows soared into the clouds, then burst into countless smaller arrows that homed in on every Huapi with pinpoint accuracy, like guided missiles. In a flash, every Huapi was struck down, falling in heaps to the ground.

“No need to thank me, I have other matters to attend to.” With a single shot, Hou Yi turned and departed.

Director Baolong snapped out of his daze, shaking his dizzy head as he stared at the piles of Huapi riddled with scorched holes. “That’s it? It’s over?”

“Let’s go find Cross-eyed—this is his dream!” Wu Ming interjected.

“Cross-eyed?”

“The guy from the roadside stall the day we took down Jiuying—the one with the cross-eyed look!” Wu Ming explained.

“Oh, now I remember! The guy whose wife ran off with someone else—the ultimate cuckold!” Director Baolong, ever the gossip, recalled instantly.

“I hate being called a cuckold more than anything!”

Wu Ming felt a chill down his spine and turned to see the cross-eyed man himself, dressed in a suit and tie, stepping out of a Porsche. Behind him followed a swarm of bodyguards in black suits, a dark mass stretching far behind!

“Driving a sports car through a cornfield? And all these Axe Gang goons? This is just too weird!” Wu Ming was speechless.

“Why do you care how people dream? Anything’s possible in a dream!” Ling Mei rolled her eyes, tugged her whip, and prepared to fight.

“Well, well! Another shameless woman! A tramp! Dressed so provocatively—clearly up to no good! Boys, take her down first!” Hatred flashed in the cross-eyed man’s eyes.

“As for you, you seem virtuous and modest—dressed decently. You’ll do as my maid!” He pointed at Xiao Mei, who was plainly dressed and modest.

“Me? Be your maid?” Xiao Mei pointed at herself, momentarily stunned.

“Kid, you’re wild—I like it! You’re right up my alley!” Lord Dog laughed heartily at Ling Mei, rolling on the ground.

“Calling me a tramp, saying I’m promiscuous? Let’s see if I don’t crush you!” Ling Mei, provoked to laughter by her anger, lashed out with her whip, sending a dozen black-suited henchmen flying.