Chapter Thirty-Three: The Serpent Monster

"This is the primal desire coursing through the blood of our Gluttonous Clan. Especially when we catch the scent of a spirit creature laced with spiritual energy, we simply can't resist the urge to take a bite and savor its flavor!"

Lingmei habitually twisted her waist, her fitted attire accentuating alluring curves in the sparse light of night. "Oh, you fat mutt—claiming to be a Gluttonous, more likely to be eliminated!"

"I don't want to waste words with you. The spiritual energy I sensed is beneath this river, but something seems to block it—it flickers in and out!" Lord Dog rarely showed such persistence; as expected from the Gluttonous lineage, nothing could command their attention more than the prospect of food, making them so earnest.

"Amitabha, does anyone have a method to drain the water here so we may descend and capture the spirit that has crossed the boundary?" Luokong pressed his palms together, slipping again into the habitual gestures of a monk.

"Luokong, that's pointless. You know all spells fail to manifest—so what useful technique could there be?" Wu Ming shrugged, increasingly convinced that the monk was a pretender.

"Hehe! Watch my Universe Gourd—collect!"

Music drew her Universe Gourd from her bosom; it instantly expanded to a massive size. The brilliant red gourd was covered in dense, mysterious inscriptions, encrusted with gemstones of every hue. Wu Ming had never examined it so closely before; the first impression was one of dazzling opulence, like a precious art piece in a wealthy household.

Music uncorked the dragon-shaped mouth of the gourd. Immediately, a howling wind poured from the pitch-black opening. She hoisted the giant gourd to her shoulder, aimed it at the river's center. A whirlpool spun rapidly on the water's surface, then transformed into a waterspout, swiftly sucked into the Universe Gourd.

"Weren't we told that no spells work in the real world? How is this possible?" Wu Ming asked, puzzled.

"The so-called failure of all spells refers to the scarcity of spiritual energy in this world, causing most techniques reliant on external energy to fail entirely. That means nearly all Taoist methods are indeed useless. But there are exceptions. Certain spiritual treasures can store their own energy, so their owners can use them to cast spells until the treasure's energy runs dry. However, there are many limitations: the energy is easily exhausted, and must be replenished in the spirit realm, much like your mortal world's appliances with built-in batteries."

"That's cheating!"

Soon, the entire river was drained, exposing a muddy bed and a foul stench of silt. The Tyrannosaur Master held out the glowing twig toward the riverbed, illuminating the wriggling fish trapped in the mud.

Everyone pinched their noses and approached for a closer look. In the distance beneath the river mud, there appeared a massive bulge slowly moving, like a giant bubble.

Wu Ming grabbed a chunk of mud and hurled it at the bubbling silt.

"No, stop!"

"Master, don't!"

"You idiot!"

Wu Ming looked sheepishly at everyone, for the mud had already flown from his hand and couldn't be retrieved.

With a loud "pop," like a balloon bursting, Wu Ming was splattered head to toe in the reeking river muck.

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A wave of nauseating stench hit his nostrils, and Wu Ming almost retched. Now he finally understood why they tried to stop him!

He scrubbed the mud from his eyes with his sleeve and looked back at the group. Everyone stood with their respective magical treasures, faces grim, staring at the shattered riverbed.

There, a monstrous beast with nine serpent heads emerged.

"How did that giant come out of such a tiny bubble?" Wu Ming wondered, unable to believe such a beast could have hidden there.

"That's your doing! We told you not to smash it!" The Tyrannosaur Master raged, pounding Wu Ming's head.

"Alright, alright! I didn't mean to—I think I'm concussed!" Wu Ming's head buzzed from the blow.

"Prepare for battle—it's coming!"

"Lion's Roar!" The Tyrannosaur Master led the attack on the monster.

A chorus of infant wails shattered his concentration.

"This is bad—retreat!"

A massive serpent head opened its blood-red maw, its foul breath sweeping toward the Tyrannosaur Master.

"Wretched beast, how dare you!" With a clang, Luokong's monk staff blocked the serpent's bite. Transforming into an indestructible Vajra form, the monk was still forced back dozens of steps, half-buried in the mud.

"You alright, monk?" The Tyrannosaur Master reached to pull Luokong out, dropping the luminous twig in the process, plunging the area into darkness.

"Are you all okay?" Wu Ming shouted to Luokong and the others.

"Watch out!"

"Careful!"

Another giant serpent head lunged at Wu Ming's back, but he remained unaware.

With a sudden leap, Lord Dog's head swelled to enormous size and bit the serpent head clean off.

"Ugh, this serpent tastes awful!" Lord Dog's head returned to normal, his mottled beard twitching as he smacked his lips.

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"Ugh!"

The severed serpent head rolled aside, its blood spilling everywhere, sending up wisps of acrid smoke.

"This creature's blood must be poisonous! That corrosiveness is intense! Dog servant, are you alright? Normally you're timid and greedy, but you risked your life for me—I'm truly moved!" Wu Ming stepped forward to check on Lord Dog.

"Get lost, you damn pervert! I'm perfectly fine—and I don't swing that way. Don't disgust me!"

"Careful, it's coming again!" Another serpent head bared its fangs and lunged at Wu Ming.

Wu Ming cursed aloud, "Damn you, dead snake! What did I ever do to you? Think I'm easy prey? If a tiger doesn't show its claws, you take me for a sick cat!"

He quickly formed hand seals, pinched a yellow talisman between two fingers, and chanted, "Om kou bu mu hai kou qi duo li kou qin hong, om kou bu mu hai kou qi duo li kou qin hong..." "Fire Banner Talisman!" The burning yellow paper grew larger in midair, transforming into a giant fiery banner that seared the serpent head. The moment it touched, the entire head burst into flames.

The monstrous serpent head writhed and shrieked in the blaze, emitting cries like a weeping infant, wrenching at the heart. In less than a moment, it turned to ash, leaving not a trace.

"Junior brother, your magic has greatly improved!" Lingmei smiled sweetly.

"Hmph!" Wu Ming was still bitter about Lingmei kicking him into the ditch.

Suddenly, a high-pressure jet of water blasted Wu Ming from behind.

"Phut!"

Blood spurted from his mouth; Wu Ming felt as if he'd been struck by a speeding truck.

Another water jet shot forth.

"Vajra, come forth!" Seeing the danger, Luokong hurriedly summoned the Vajra.

With a cacophony of metallic clamor, the Vajra appeared, raised its fist, and threw a punch at the direction of the incoming water, sending droplets flying and ringing with the sounds of metal striking metal.

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