Chapter 36

Applying for a Master’s degree in Journalism in Hong Kong requires at least three to four internships in the field. Because of this, Chu Tong had already begun searching for internships as the second semester of her sophomore year drew to a close.

During the latter part of May, she was occupied with final exams, while Shao Yihuai had gone on a long business trip to the south. By her calculations, they had not seen each other for half a month.

However, true to his consistent thoughtfulness, he had left her with the contact information for Ren Mingyuan, telling her to reach out if she had any urgent needs.

Ren Mingyuan was an impeccable old friend. He had called her twice and taken her out to dinner. During one of their meals, the subject of internships came up, and he offered to help her secure one.

Chu Tong naturally declined, saying, "I can find one on my own; I don't want to trouble you."

Coming from the Department of Chinese Literature at A University, possessing an IELTS score, and having participated in the student journalist corps, she felt that even though she was crossing disciplines, finding an internship in journalism shouldn't be difficult.

Ren Mingyuan seemed quite surprised by her blunt refusal. He raised an eyebrow, his eyes shifting thoughtfully, and said with a smile, "Is... is that how you are with Shubai as well?"

Chu Tong looked puzzled.

Ren Mingyuan offered a faint, enigmatic smile and finished his thought, "Refusing all the convenience he offers—money, property, accepting nothing at all? Is that it?"

"He did have Sister Wen give me a card, but I never touched it," Chu Tong said truthfully. "Within the normal scope of a relationship, I’m fine, but these large sums... they just aren't necessary."

"Is that so? Then how do you plan to pay for your graduate studies? A Master’s in Journalism in Hong Kong costs 160,000 in tuition alone per year. If it’s a two-year program, that’s 320,000, plus living expenses—at least 500,000."

Chu Tong was already well-informed on this. "I’ve saved up some money, and I plan to apply for scholarships."

Given her family background, finishing her undergraduate degree at A University and returning to her hometown to earn a teaching certificate to become a Chinese teacher was the most economical and secure path. If she were more ambitious, she could try for a stable position in Beijing; she was smart and diligent, so that shouldn't be hard. But she was never satisfied with that; she wanted to fly to a broader world to see what was out there.

Perhaps she would face more difficulties and resistance, but how would she know if she didn't try? What if it worked? What if she could overcome it all? She was least afraid of hardship.

Ren Mingyuan shook his head. The words "too naive" were on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed them. After a moment of thought, he decided to rephrase his point. "Why do you draw such a clear line with him? This little bit of money is merely a drop in the bucket for him. By deliberately avoiding it, you might actually be upsetting him."

Chu Tong paused for a few seconds, seemingly debating whether to lay everything out on the table.

"If you have concerns, just say them," Ren Mingyuan prompted.

"Sister Wen and you both say that if I don't accept his kindness, I might anger him. But I—" Her voice grew more emphatic. "I want to be with him as an equal. I’m not that foolish. I know exactly how others see me. If, under these circumstances, I rely on him for shortcuts even for things I can do myself, then eventually, I will only be a doll, dependent on him and kept by him."

Looking back now, she realized she had been far too naive when she first fell for him and threw herself into the relationship without a second thought.

The gap between them was simply too vast. Coupled with the world's gaze and the habits of his social circle, these factors created a tremendous tearing force on their relationship. But she hadn't misjudged him; Shao Yihuai was not a man who trifled with emotions. He was as serious and invested as she was, which was why she cherished and protected their bond so dearly, terrified that one slip could lead to their ruin.

Then there was that Miss Lin, and the pressure from his family...

She had always known that their relationship was incredibly fragile, held together only by the intensity of their mutual passion.

Chu Tong's words were resonant, prompting Ren Mingyuan to examine her with new seriousness.

Only now did he realize that this young girl had matured significantly since he first met her more than half a year ago. When her eyes sparkled, there was a sense of confident determination.

But... she was still naive.

How could she and Shubai ever have an "equal relationship"?

Perhaps Shubai spoiled her too much, creating an idealistic utopia that led her to believe that sheer effort and sincerity were enough to achieve anything.

Ren Mingyuan tilted his head back, sipped his sake, and said with calculated nonchalance, "You’re too foolish. Aren't you making any plans for the future? Not leaving yourself a way out?"

"What... what does that mean?"

Chu Tong was genuinely confused.

Ren Mingyuan chuckled. "Why do you think Shubai went on such a long business trip?" He paused, lifting his eyelids to look at her meaningfully. "He’s hiding from the many blind dates his family has arranged for him."

Chu Tong felt as if she had been struck by lightning.

She had always known the pressure of a family-arranged marriage hung over his head, but she hadn't expected it to descend so quickly. She hadn't even had the chance to grow, to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with him yet.

Why was fate in such a hurry to tear them apart?

She was unwilling to accept it.

Her eyes grew hot, and her heart was filled with panic. Across from her, Ren Mingyuan continued, "He can't marry you. At most, you two will have a few years—call it whatever you like, a romance or keeping a mistress—it makes no difference in the end. You need to take advantage of this time to secure some benefits for yourself. Even if you aren't that kind of person, at the very least, asking for property or tuition money is reasonable."

Ren Mingyuan added, "The more you take, the better off you’ll be later, and he’ll be able to rest easier."

After a long silence, Chu Tong asked, "Is this... something he asked you to tell me?"

"Not at all. He didn't say a word. I’m just giving you a friendly heads-up."

The young girl was so naive it bothered him. If they broke up later and she came to Shubai in agony demanding an explanation, wouldn't it be chaos? He had to plan ahead for his brother.

Chu Tong’s heart settled slightly.

Shao Yihuai didn't feel that way; that was good, thank goodness. Perhaps he was willing to weather the family pressure for her; perhaps they could hold on until she grew stronger. Who could say what the future held? She couldn't rush to pass a death sentence on herself.

Thinking this, she returned to her dormitory and collapsed onto her bed, crying bitterly.

It had only been half a year, and the bloody, cruel reality was already tearing back the curtain, dealing her a heavy blow.

The curses Ding Xue had once hurled at her were now beginning to come true, one by one.

She admitted she was greedy.

Originally, going to Hong Kong for a Master’s in Journalism had been a vague idea. She had hesitated, wondering if returning to her hometown after graduation to be with Chu Qinghe might be better. But gradually, going to Hong Kong became her only lifeline. She worked desperately to study English and memorize difficult technical terms, all for the faint delusion that had emerged in her mind—

If she were excellent enough, if she became a gold-standard bilingual reporter for a major network in the future, might that earn her a ticket to be with Shao Yihuai forever?

Although Lu Zhiyun's words previously had been harsh, they were an undeniable fact: her family background certainly didn't match his. But what if she fought with everything she had to rise on her own? Surely, once she had made a name for herself, she would no longer be unworthy of him?

She refused to just accept her fate.

He was so wonderful—handsome, distinguished, graceful, and charming. He doted on her, pampered her, and treated her like a princess. They were so compatible in bed; despite the age gap, they always had much to talk about in their daily lives. Although she was usually the one doing the talking, the atmosphere between them didn't lie. She was immersed in it, and Shao Yihuai was the same.

Perhaps because she was exhausted and her thoughts were in chaos, she fell asleep while crying.

Soon, she was woken by the ring of her phone.

The caller ID read:
"Shao"

Chu Tong adjusted her breathing and answered, "Hello?"

Her heavy nasal tone gave her away.

Shao Yihuai asked, "Are you crying? Did something happen?"

"No, no," she prevaricated. "I just woke up, that's all."

"Sleeping this early? Did I wake you?"

"Mm," she hummed, using the opportunity to scold him, "You bad person."

Shao Yihuai laughed, his voice dropping a notch as he spoke again, "Did you miss me?"

"I've missed you for a long time," she said. "When are you coming back? Was it something very serious that required such a long trip?"

"No, it's winding down. I'll be back in Beijing in early June."

Chu Tong thought for a moment. "I should be having my final exams then."

"Where do you want to go after your exams? I can take a few days of annual leave to take you."

He remained as gentle and thoughtful as ever.

"Forget it, I need to focus on my internship."

Shao Yihuai didn't insist, only saying that an internship was important work and that she should focus on it.

-

In early June, Shao Yihuai returned to Beijing as promised.

He landed in the evening and went straight to the west gate of A University. Chu Tong had things weighing on her heart, and her steps were noticeably slower than usual—a stark contrast to how she used to run toward him.

As soon as Shao Yihuai stepped out of the car, he said with a smile, "What's wrong today? Don't want to see me?"

He was wearing a loose black shirt, his tie likely discarded in the car. With two buttons undone at the collar and a touch of nonchalant fatigue from his travels, his lowered lashes gave him an understated, seductive air as he looked at his lover. He exuded a charm that was both decadent and alluring.

Chu Tong glanced elsewhere and muttered, "It's not that."

Shao Yihuai lowered his head slightly to study her expression and laughed. "You weren't like this before. Didn't you always say exactly what was on your mind?"

Chu Tong gathered the courage to look at his face. Up so close, the sight of his handsome features caught her off guard, and her first reaction was to blush. She instinctively turned away, but before she could finish, her chin was caught in his grip. He turned her back and kissed her.

They kissed until they were breathless. When they finished, he lingered, lightly kissing the corner of her mouth as he whispered, "Why are you so beautiful, so cute."

Chu Tong’s face grew even hotter. Looking at him, his expression held no trace of anything unusual. He was still the same Shao Yihuai who came to see her the moment he landed, showing no signs of the family pressure he was under.

For the first time in her life, she hesitated to lay her heart bare.

Yes, she had grown up. She was no longer the little girl who would rush forward and say whatever came to mind. If she asked the questions she held inside, what kind of answer would she get?

She hugged his waist tightly and whispered into his chest, "Please wait for me, okay?"

Given time, I will certainly be worthy of you.