Chapter 30

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Shao Yihuai left early with Chu Tong.

Uncle Zong drove the Maybach to the main entrance and waited beside the rear door. When he looked up, he saw that his employer had brought a woman out with him.

At first glance, he did not recognize her as the young girl Tongtong from before. After having her hair and makeup done and putting on a strappy gown that accentuated the curves of her figure, she possessed an unexpectedly mature, feminine charm.

She no longer looked like a child.

On the way back to Manhe, Chu Tong remained curled up in Shao Yihuai’s arms without saying a word, idly playing with the buttons of his shirt one after another.

Since she was silent, Shao Yihuai was even more so. He held her with one arm, rested his other elbow against the window frame, and gazed outside.

Uncle Zong glanced at them through the rearview mirror. Why did the two of them seem so preoccupied tonight?

When they reached the underground parking garage at Manhe, Chu Tong remembered that she had an eight o’clock class the next morning and would have to get up early.

Uncle Zong asked at just the right moment, “Miss, what time tomorrow?”

“Seven ten. Is that all right? It’s very early, so I’m really troubling you,” Chu Tong said.

“Not at all. I’ll be there on time.”

They took the elevator and entered the foyer. Chu Tong followed behind Shao Yihuai, unusually reserved and obedient.

As he took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves, Shao Yihuai glanced at her and smiled. “What’s wrong?”

Chu Tong was still standing by the entrance. She shook her head slightly.

But the displeasure on her face was obvious.

Shao Yihuai came closer and lowered his voice. “…Did you run into someone at the reception? You’ve seemed distracted all evening.” He studied her expression carefully. “…Did someone bully you?”

“No, no.” She hurriedly shook her head. “You brought me in with you. Who would dare bully me?” As she spoke, she smiled. “I’m fine. I’m going to take a shower.”

She slipped off her high heels, lifted the hem of her dress, and trotted across the living room before heading upstairs along the spiral staircase.

Shao Yihuai went to the western kitchen, opened the refrigerator, took out a bottle of chilled water, and drank half of it.

—

Because she had undergone professional styling that day, Chu Tong spent nearly forty minutes in the shower.

She removed her formal jewelry, washed out the hairspray, and took off her makeup, like Cinderella removing her glass slippers. At last, with a clean, bare face, she found a long-sleeved pajama set in the dressing room and put it on.

She did not go back downstairs. Standing barefoot on the carpet in the master bedroom’s sitting room, she looked around. Then, on impulse, she knelt and pulled open the drawer built into the coffee table, searching for cigarettes.

She found nothing after rummaging through every drawer and cabinet. She was just about to go to the dressing room when she straightened and saw Shao Yihuai enter through the door.

He was still dressed in a white shirt and black trousers. Apparently, he had not showered and had no intention of sleeping with her.

“What are you looking for?”

“Nothing.” She rose to her feet. “Do you still have work to do?”

“…Yes.”

“Then I’ll go to bed first.”

She accepted his answer without protest, unlike usual, when she would have tried to cling to him.

It was as if she were cautiously guarding the boundary he had drawn, no longer rushing against it or testing its limits.

Shao Yihuai walked up to her, raised her chin, and said with a smile, “And you still say nothing’s wrong? Why won’t you look at me?”

Not only that, she had not put on the nightdress prepared in the bathroom. Instead, she had chosen long sleeves and long pants.

Chu Tong lifted her face and deliberately stared at him with shining eyes.

Shao Yihuai gave a helpless laugh. “If you don’t want to talk, forget it.”

As if she had just been granted a pardon, Chu Tong immediately turned to leave. He caught her around the waist and swept her up into his arms.

Beyond the screen, only the faintest night-light illuminated the bedroom.

He set her down on the bed, remaining bent over her. He kissed her forehead lightly, then withdrew a little, his gaze falling to her lips.

Her lips were full and flushed, waiting for someone to ravage them.

In the end, he followed instinct and kissed her.

His tongue traced and coaxed, his movements growing deep and forceful. It was obvious that he was suppressing a desire that was close to breaking free. Before he even realized it, one hand had already moved around to the small of her back, sliding downward to knead her flesh.

Chu Tong did not dare move. She was not afraid of what might happen next; she was afraid that nothing would happen at all. So she did not dare reveal how stirred she was.

She proceeded with extreme caution, keeping to the boundary he had drawn.

At the reception, she had heard Lin Jiayin talking with her friends behind the screen. The amount of information had been overwhelming. They had discussed the intricate relationships among the powerful families in their social circle, as well as the rules by which that world operated.

To a girl from a small town, such things were naturally like castles in the air. She could vaguely guess at their outline, but could not truly see them clearly. Yet one thing had become unmistakably clear to her: her relationship with Mr. Shao was probably even more fragile than she had imagined.

It was only because she had thrown herself forward without hesitation, summoning all the courage she possessed, that she had managed to make him stay.

But that stay was most likely temporary, with an exceedingly short shelf life.

In the past, when Shang Yunmeng had told her what the men in their circle were like, Chu Tong had let the words enter one ear and leave the other. After all, her relationship with Mr. Shao had only just begun, and she had not wanted to torment herself by imagining too much.

But now the facts were right before her eyes. Someone else was already waiting with certainty for her relationship with Mr. Shao to end, so that an engagement with him could be put on the agenda.

She could no longer cover her eyes and refuse to look at the road ahead.

Therefore, she would rather bind her own hands and feet, asking only that Mr. Shao remain pleased.

Shao Yihuai stopped, just as she expected.

He drew back slightly and looked down at her. Her eyes were moist as she gazed at him, full of grievance and helplessness, along with a wary pretense that nothing was wrong.

In that instant, he understood.

She had sensed it. She had sensed that he was deliberately drawing a line between them, and she had retreated as well, restraining herself solely so that she would not defy him.

The fire in his eyes was extinguished, leaving behind only a cool, quiet stillness.

Chu Tong was an exceptionally perceptive girl. At that moment, she pulled the quilt over herself, turned onto her side, and said in a deliberately lighthearted tone, “I’m going to sleep. I’m so tired, and I have to get up early tomorrow.”

They both knew exactly what was happening, and neither said it aloud.

Shao Yihuai walked around the screen and sat on the sofa in the sitting room, facing the floor-to-ceiling windows.

He cupped a cigarette in his hand, lit it, inhaled deeply, and slowly exhaled.

He had smoked more in these past few days than he had in the entire previous year.

So be it.

At least Su Jingwen was still there. She could step forward and protect Chu Tong, shielding her from the storm.

What a pity.

He had not been able to raise her himself until her wings were fully grown, then watch her fly away beautifully and freely.

What a pity.

He had always restrained himself in front of her, never allowing the two of them to embrace and possess each other without inhibition.

What a pity. She had looked so beautiful in white. In a wedding dress, she would surely have been without equal.

There were simply too many things to regret.

Shao Yihuai crushed out his cigarette.

Then he went to the guest room.

—

Early the next morning, when Chu Tong awoke, the man was indeed nowhere to be seen beside her.

She knew he had not slept in the master bedroom the previous night.

After washing up and changing, she went downstairs. Only Uncle Zong was there.

He raised the breakfast bag in his hand and smiled. “Miss, I’ll take you to school. You can eat on the way.”

“Where is he?”

“There was a problem at one of the group’s branches, so Mr. Shao had to rush to the airport.”

“…Do you need to go as well? You don’t have to stay behind just to look after me.”

“Yes, I’ll have to go over this afternoon too,” Uncle Zong said. “Apparently, it’s a serious matter. Even the old master has been alerted.”

With exam week approaching, she had a great deal to memorize. In the car, Chu Tong ate breakfast while flipping through her textbooks.

After her two morning classes ended, she went to the cafeteria. She had just finished lining up and collected her meal when the phone in her pocket began to vibrate.

The caller ID displayed Shao.

She answered. He apologized first, saying that he had been in too much of a hurry to leave that morning and had not had time to wish her good morning.

“It’s all right.”

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She said it was fine. As usual, Shao Yihuai asked about her studies, and she answered each question. Before hanging up, she still asked, “Uncle Zong said something happened at your company. Is it serious?”

“It’s nothing major. I’m just temporarily unable to get away.” He paused briefly. “…I may not be able to finish tomorrow, but the cruise and hotel have already been booked. Would you like Jingwen to accompany you?”

Chu Tong did not react at first.

“Hmm?”

“Christmas. Watching the fireworks over Victoria Harbour.”

Only then did Chu Tong realize that tomorrow was the twenty-fourth.

“No, it’s better if Sister Wen stays to help you deal with the company matters. It wouldn’t be any fun for me to watch them alone.”

Shao Yihuai laughed softly. “Good girl.”

It was probably better not to go, Chu Tong thought. After New Year’s Day came examination week, and in the end she had only one week left to prepare. She had remained among the top three for two semesters and absolutely could not let falling in love cause her grades to slip.

—

The material required for the Chinese literature examinations was difficult and obscure. Every time Chu Tong tried to memorize it, her head grew dizzy and heavy, and her eyes became vacant.

On Christmas Eve, the evening of the twenty-fourth, her roommate Lu Zhiyun learned that Mr. Shao had stood her up. She deliberately ended her dinner early and returned with packaged food and desserts.

“Little junior, stop studying and come eat something.”

“Wow, thank you, Senior.”

Lu Zhiyun placed the food on the long table, pulled out a chair, and sat down. She looked Chu Tong up and down, then shook her head.

“Has Brother Shao ever seen you like this?”

Her hair was tousled, and she had thrown on a wrinkled long-sleeved shirt and pants. Yet she was still beautiful, possessing a different kind of weary, fragile charm.

Chu Tong sat down opposite her and took a bite of fish. After thinking for a moment, she asked, “…Does everyone call him that? Brother Shao?”

“Who else calls him that?”

“The second daughter of the Lin family, Lin Jiayin.”

“You’ve met her?” Lu Zhiyun’s naturally aloof and arrogant face filled with disdain. “I call him that because my brother and he are good friends. I’ve called him that since childhood. As for Lin Jiayin—she’s just being affected.”

Chu Tong leaned closer, blinking eagerly, her curiosity written all over her face. “Sister Zhiyun, tell me everything. I know nothing about your circle.”

Lu Zhiyun gave her a mysterious look. “…How much do you know?”

“I only know that he’s the president of Zhuoyi Group.”

“Good heavens!” Lu Zhiyun exclaimed. “That’s equivalent to knowing nothing.”

“…His family is enormous. The old master formed a marriage alliance with the Yi family of Hong Kong, and the two families are now inseparable.”

Following the family tree, Lu Zhiyun gave Chu Tong a detailed account of Mr. Shao’s background: who his grandfather was, who his father was, his elder brother, his second sister, and even his brother-in-law. Every one of them was astonishing.

“As for the Yi family in Hong Kong, it’s the one everyone knows about. You can find everything online, so I won’t go into it.”

Only belatedly did Chu Tong realize how naïve and ignorant she had been. She had actually taken the initiative to provoke Shao Yihuai, and had even dreamed of having an equal romantic relationship with him.

“Strictly speaking, Brother Shao should actually be called Uncle Shao. He’s a generation above Lin Jiayin, too.”

“…I’m choosing my words carefully,” Chu Tong said. “Mr. Shao must also be carrying the burden of a marriage alliance, right?”

Lu Zhiyun stopped picking at her food and gave her a meaningful look. “Do you want to marry him?”

Chu Tong hurriedly shook her head. “Of course I haven’t thought that far. I was just asking.”

“Then I’ll be frank. The eldest son and eldest daughter of the Shao family are practically certain to marry for the sake of an alliance. Brother Shao is the third child, and he’s favored, so he should have comparatively more freedom. But…” She hesitated, because what followed was unpleasant to say. “…Even if he is free, his family probably wouldn’t agree to his marrying you. You understand, don’t you? At the very least, the families would have to be evenly matched.”

Chu Tong smiled. “I never thought about any of that in the first place.”

“…Besides, I don’t think Brother Shao is the type who would want to get married. To put it bluntly, if I didn’t know he was with you, I would suspect he planned to remain single for life.”

The smile lingering at the corners of Chu Tong’s lips turned bitter.

It was because of the three words “with you.”

No matter how Shao Yihuai treated her in public, no matter how he introduced her to others as his girlfriend, in the eyes of an observer, she was still merely someone who had attached herself to him.

She deliberately changed the subject. “How could he remain single for life? Surely a lot of people like him.”

“Of course. I used to like him too.” Lu Zhiyun said it openly and casually, as if discussing the weather. “Most of the women our age in our circle have liked him at one point or another. He’s that thing people call a ‘white moonlight.’ There are simply too many rotten men in our circle. Someone as self-disciplined as him, with such a handsome face, such height and a good physique, gentle, composed, and brimming with masculinity—honestly, who wouldn’t fall for him?”

“…Then why don’t you like him anymore?”

“I have self-respect, all right? It’s impossible to keep chasing someone who doesn’t like me.”

Chu Tong burst out laughing.

Lu Zhiyun could not help looking at her. “Brother Shao dotes on you. At Baisen, the day you got drunk, he picked you up in his arms. I’ve never seen that look in his eyes before.”

His gaze had been deep and dark. One glance was enough to know that, had they been alone, he would have pinned her in his arms and kissed her.

Seeing Chu Tong’s face grow slightly flushed, Lu Zhiyun lowered her voice and asked, “Have you done it?”

Chu Tong froze, then shook her head.

Lu Zhiyun was genuinely surprised. “What? How is that possible?”

“He avoids me.”

Perhaps her earlier shyness had frightened him away, she thought.

Lu Zhiyun seemed to remember something. “Maybe he thinks you’re still young.” The moment she said it, she denied it herself. “But he obviously has feelings for you. How strange.”

Lu Zhiyun found it strange, but Chu Tong did not.

She understood perfectly well that between her and Shao Yihuai, the rule had always been: if she did not move forward, he would retreat.

And even this relationship had been won by her, through one direct advance after another, constantly raising the stakes and pleading for more.

From beginning to end, Shao Yihuai had neither taken the initiative nor refused her.

Thinking of this, Chu Tong suddenly wondered whether her docile reaction after their kiss the previous night would cause him to retreat completely, never mentioning the matter again.

And not only that.

Shao Yihuai’s past words flashed through her mind like scenes in a reel: I won’t force you. I don’t want you to be with me and regret it afterward…

Perhaps even standing her up on Christmas Eve, on Christmas Day, was his way of silently permitting her to leave.

Panic suddenly rose within her.

Even after she had finished dinner, eaten dessert, showered, and lain down in bed, unease still churned inside her.

She could not help wanting to call Shao Yihuai, yet feared disturbing him.

She tossed and turned, unable to sleep.

—

After class the next day, Chu Tong went to the library to study.

When she became too tired to continue, she put down her textbook and wandered between the shelves, hoping to find something to relax with.

In the foreign-language section, she came upon a shelf devoted entirely to Nabokov’s works.

Every edition of his famous novels had been checked out. Only some of his less well-known works remained, including one called The Original of Laura.

Chu Tong pulled it out and leafed through it.

It was the unfinished work Nabokov had asked his family to burn after his death. Its fragmented text and plot had been arranged so that readers could better understand and experience it. Each page contained both English and another language, along with a facsimile of Nabokov’s handwritten manuscript.

It was the English manuscript that made Chu Tong’s breathing falter.

Perhaps because it was not his native language, the handwriting was not messy at all. Instead, it was soft and elegant, yet a hidden strength lay between the lines.

For some inexplicable reason, she thought of Shao Yihuai.

Later, she would wonder why she had made that association.

Looking at it objectively, perhaps the age difference between herself and Shao Yihuai had caused her to feel an unusual connection to Nabokov, the author of Lolita.

It was as though her subconscious had superimposed the two men upon each other.

Chu Tong checked out the book.

That night, when she climbed into her upper bunk, the lights had not yet been turned off.

She spread the book over her pillow. After hesitating again and again, she composed a message to Shao Yihuai:

“Mr. Shao, have you ever seen Nabokov’s English manuscripts? The handwriting is soft and elegant, like the brush of a feather, yet it conceals the strength of a six-foot man. Reading it makes my heart race, as though I were naked and had been caught in his butterfly net.”

When Shao Yihuai received the message, he was in a suite at a hotel in Shanghai.

The matter was nearly settled. Dressed in an immaculate suit, he stood alone before the floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room, with the noisy streets of Christmas Eve spread beneath him.

During holidays like this, Shanghai was always livelier than Beijing.

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Fireworks burst open on the distant horizon, probably part of a performance somewhere.

If she were here, what excitement and vitality would shine in her eyes?

That eagerness alone was enough to make his throat tighten whenever he imagined it.

With one hand in his pocket, he lowered his eyes to the phone screen.

After a moment, he replied:

“You’re projecting far too much erotic fantasy onto a writer.”

The phone vibrated faintly.

Tongtong: “Not onto him.”

Tongtong: “That handwriting made me think of you, Shao Yihuai.”

Nabokov, English manuscripts—it was nothing more than her desire for him projected onto something else.

Shao Yihuai did not reply to Chu Tong again.

Instead, he called Su Jingwen and told her to find the book immediately.

—

After that message on the evening of the twenty-fifth, the two of them had no further contact.

Chu Tong knew he was busy with work, but she could not help overthinking. Was he tacitly implying that their relationship was over?

Had her blatantly flirtatious message been useless?

Someone who had never worried about anything had begun to suffer anxiety and doubt because of Shao Yihuai.

Only after falling into this spiral of thoughts did she realize how powerful it was to fall in love with someone. No matter how carefree you were, you could still sink into the mud, repeatedly recalling every subtle expression he had worn while you were together, every implication hidden between the lines of your messages.

Just when Chu Tong had resolved not to think about these things any longer, she spoke with Su Jingwen on the phone on the evening of the twenty-eighth and inferred from her choice of words that Shao Yihuai had already returned to Beijing.

Yet he had not even called her.

It was Saturday. Could he still have work to do?

Perhaps he had gone to a dinner engagement.

After washing up in the dormitory, Chu Tong sat at her desk and opened her textbook. Her final examinations began the following Monday. She could no longer allow herself to become absorbed in these matters.

As curfew approached, she put down the book and decided to call Shao Yihuai.

She wanted to know the truth, no matter how painful it was.

She was rubbing her thumb over the character on the screen marked “Shao” when the phone suddenly vibrated. Shao Yihuai was calling.

She answered and raised the phone to her ear.

“Tongtong, are you in the dormitory?”

“…Yes.”

Only after speaking did she realize that her voice sounded slightly hoarse.

“I’m at the west gate. Is it convenient for you to come out and see me?”

Chu Tong changed into clothes suitable for going outside, exchanged a few words with Lu Zhiyun, who had already gone to bed, and left the dormitory.

As soon as she stepped out through the school gate, she saw a Bentley waiting by the roadside in the distance.

Shao Yihuai stood beside it in a long black coat. Unlike the gentle voice she had heard over the phone, his figure seemed heavy and still, carrying a deep, oppressive presence. The white of his shirt collar looked like an apparition against the darkness.

She walked toward him step by step and spoke first.

“I thought you weren’t going to come looking for me again.”

Shao Yihuai said nothing. He only lowered his eyes to her face.

After a long moment, he turned, opened the front passenger door, and said indifferently, “Get in.”

“Where are we going?”

A trace of grievance entered her voice. She did not want to comply with him so easily.

Shao Yihuai did not answer.

Chu Tong became even more agitated and turned as if to leave. He seized her, pressed her against the side of the car, and slammed the passenger door shut beside her.

Then he kissed her.

She hated herself for being so weak. Her body immediately went soft, and she heard him murmur, “You want to do it here?”

Every muscle in Chu Tong’s body tightened.

Shao Yihuai continued in an unhurried voice, as if deliberately drawing out her torment.

“I read the book you mentioned, and those manuscripts. I couldn’t find even the slightest trace of what you described.” He paused briefly. “…What exactly were you thinking?”

“You’re pretending not to know.”

She sounded like a stubborn child.

Shao Yihuai gave a cold laugh. “I want to hear you say it.”

He reached behind her with one hand, intending to open the car door. But Chu Tong sprang forward in surprise, brushing against the hem of his suit. It seemed as though she had touched something beneath it, and she looked at him in disbelief.

Their eyes met. His gaze was dark and unreadable.

She got into the car.

Shao Yihuai drove.

It was midnight on the weekend, yet the streets of Beijing were still crowded with traffic.

A line of red taillights stretched ahead. Shao Yihuai tapped his fingers twice against the steering wheel.

Chu Tong sat almost sideways in the passenger seat, watching him without blinking.

Sensing her gaze, Shao Yihuai turned his face toward her.

After meeting his eyes for a moment, she held his gaze and deliberately lowered hers to glance at his trousers. After a few seconds, she looked back at his face, her gesture carrying a faint air of defiance.

Shao Yihuai gave a soft scoff and shook his head helplessly.

A child. She truly had no idea of the consequences.

By the time they reached Manhe, he had already pressed her against the elevator wall and begun kissing her.

When the elevator stopped at the twentieth floor, the doors opened with a chime, and he carried her out.

He entered the passcode.

The door opened.

With a heavy thud, Chu Tong’s entire body was lifted off the floor and pressed against the door.

He forced her thighs apart and raised them.

His body moved against hers.

She clung to him as he carried her upstairs.

His overcoat and suit jacket were discarded on the staircase.

The small night-light in the master bedroom came on automatically.

Shao Yihuai’s voice was unbearably hoarse. “Unfasten me.”

Blushing, Chu Tong undid the buttons of his vest. He loosened and pulled off his tie himself, then opened two buttons of his shirt.

She was trembling uncontrollably.

By then she was completely naked. Unable to withstand the shame, she reached for the quilt and instinctively tried to crawl beneath it, but he held her down.

Shao Yihuai hovered above her and kissed her. Their lips and tongues tangled together. Her hands searched until they found his face, feeling the muscles of his jaw pulse again and again beneath her fingertips. The intense sense of possession made her head swim.

His earlier demand that she say it had not been a joke.

Chu Tong understood this when he asked in a hoarse voice, “Who does Tongtong want?”

Her voice trembling, she answered, “Shao Yihuai.”

“What of mine do you want?”

Chu Tong whimpered. “You can’t bully me.”

Shao Yihuai’s expression remained noncommittal, but his movements were cold and forceful.

A strangled sound escaped her throat, and she burst into tears.

She thought she was going to die, she was really going to die, and then she heard him soothe her in an unbearably dangerous murmur:

“Good girl. Take a little more.”

…

Chu Tong cried out to heaven and earth, but neither answered.

It was not until Monday morning, when she had an examination, that she finally left that bedroom.