Chapter 60 Peeking

Jiang Ying rather disliked winter in Boston.

Once the first snowfall ended, life was thoroughly shrouded in endless overcast skies. The leaves had fallen, leaving only dark, bare branches clinging to ice granules. The grass was a withered green, and everything associated with vitality headed toward a silent death.

"He asked me out for dinner on Christmas Day, and I agreed."

Jiang Ying held a hot latte with both hands at the edge of the dog park's lawn, watching Nono frolic and chase other dogs in play.

Zhou Ningning stood beside her, replying to her final work message before muttering a silent action and sliding her phone into her pocket.

"Are you two rekindling old flames?"

Jiang Ying took a sip of her hot coffee. "That expression isn't quite appropriate."

Putting aside those light and breezy reminisces, she truly treated Lu Zhixi completely as a newly acquainted person. When she was with him, she felt a bit estranged and somewhat restrained, yet she did not want to deny that a certain place in her heart still held feelings for him that were different from those she felt for others.

Describing this feeling as initial heartbreak didn't seem quite accurate, but if she categorized it as unfinished business from an old romance, something always felt slightly off.

Yet when she saw him again, sat with him, or met his gaze, it felt as though an unknown potion had been swiftly injected into her heart at that very instant, making this mundane life vibrant once more.

Lu Zhixi was exceptionally skilled at conversation, maintaining a just-right distance from her. He had much more sense of boundaries than before, yet he did not shy away from the lingering affection he had harbored for her over the past few years.

He had even come here many times just to see her, and whenever she thought of this, a unique emotion would always well up in Jiang Ying's heart—one she did not repel.

"...Perhaps it's just right," she said slowly.

Her mindset was good now, and Lu Zhixi was still willing to give things a try with her, which Jiang Ying considered a very good timing.

There were five days left until Christmas, and Jiang Ying had not expected to be quite busy during these few days.

First, she and Yamei met with prospective investors for two consecutive days, finalizing the investment matters just before Christmas. Afterward, she began bustling about mailing Christmas gifts to friends, thoroughly clearing out her old books, and even carving out time to update Weibo with a set of Nono's Christmas-themed outfits, mailing out the prizes to the winning followers of her Weibo Christmas lucky draw.

Some of the winning addresses were in China, some in New York and Los Angeles in the US, and one address was right there in Boston. Jiang Ying didn't find it strange; many people loved taking pictures with Nono when she took him to the park, and upon learning he had a social media account, they eagerly followed it. Sometimes they even arranged to meet up so their respective little dogs could play together, so perhaps this was just one of those fans.

Lu Zhixi had not contacted her frequently over these past few days, merely sending her the restaurant reservation information ahead of time on Christmas Eve and agreeing with her on the pickup time for Christmas Day.

When his message came through, Jiang Ying and Zhou Ningning were at home preparing Christmas Eve dinner, and she only saw it when they sat down to eat at night. By the time she replied to Lu Zhixi via text, it was already three hours late. Offering a brief explanation, she politely asked whether he had eaten dinner tonight.

"I'm at the church," he replied simply.

Jiang Ying hadn't known previously that he had the habit of visiting churches, and she casually asked if he was a Christian.

"I'm not. I just feel that this place can bring peace to people."

Inside the resplendent church, numerous spotlights hung beneath the vault, casting several bright beams simultaneously upon a huge golden crucifix suspended by iron chains.

Between the intricate and exquisite copper-gold patterns on the walls were stained glass windows, their red and blue primary colors shimmering with crystal-clear brilliance under the lights.

Believers sought salvation; the Virgin Mary was merciful. Solemn music poured forth from the pipe organ, flowing into every corner.

When Lu Zhixi saw Jiang Ying's message, the children in the choir happened to be singing the line, "Christ the savior is born."

The tender children's voices finished the song, and the program ended.

He quietly rose, left through a glass door on the side, got into the black sedan waiting by the roadside, and returned to his penthouse apartment located downtown.

Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows was a colorful night view. Several stacks of newly delivered old books were piled on the plain cashmere carpet, and an unopened package sat on the circular marble tabletop.

Lu Zhixi casually tossed his coat onto the sofa, unwrapped the package, placed the felt puppy on the bedside table in the bedroom, and then walked into the bathroom to take a shower.

The showerhead sprayed a stream of cold water that cascaded down his cheeks, slid past his neck, landed on his shoulders, and flowed over the old gunshot wound on his right shoulder—the mark he had left in his youth in order to retain what he did not want to lose.

People are never satisfied; clearly possessing everything, yet feeling as though they have nothing.

Leaving the bathroom with a chill clinging to his body, Lu Zhixi changed his clothes, sat down on the living room sofa, and picked up an old book to flip through.

On a gloomy afternoon two years ago, when he arrived in Boston after concluding a long and tedious board meeting and wandered into a used bookstore near Harvard, he had stumbled upon an old book with the name "Ying Jiang" written on the second page, subsequently maintaining the habit of purchasing this seller's old books over the past two years.

During these two years, Jiang Ying's reading list had undergone significant changes.

This book was *Literature and Evil* by Georges Bataille, in which he mentioned the works of writers such as Kafka, de Sade, and Emily Brontë.

Lu Zhixi took out a cigarette, lit it, took only a single puff before removing it, and brought the glowing tip close to the book's pages.

The faint, scarlet fire illuminated the pages touched by Jiang Ying, as well as the lines of contemplation regarding desire and existence. His gaze swept over those words, a trace of an ambiguous smile lingering in his eyes.

Through the books a person read, one could peer into the most private places in her heart.

In the days without him, she had indeed lived a light and carefree life.

She possessed an enviable career, her own home, and a cute little puppy.

Yet after all these years had passed, she seemed to be starting to ponder other things.

Why was that?

Without him, wasn't she living quite happily?

The pages rustled through Lu Zhixi's fingertips, revealing the name on the blank page, her delicate handwriting allowing him to easily trace the image of her beautiful appearance in his mind.

He brought the cigarette tip close to her name, as if wanting to burn those two characters away from the page.

The movement paused for a long time, the cigarette tip lingering without ever truly falling.

The ember continued to burn, devouring the cigarette body inch by inch until it reached his fingertips.

Smoke curled around, viciously drilling into his nose, corrupting his body in an illusory manner.

The person holding the cigarette remained motionless for too long, and ash fluttered down onto the book page.

Lu Zhixi removed the cigarette, but his thumb firmly pressed and rubbed the ash directly over the characters "Jiang Ying," smudging them forcefully until chaotic, gray-black marks surrounded her name, completely defiling it.

***

In the French restaurant with deep wooden tones, the walls were adorned with wreaths entwined with dazzling ribbons and lighting fixtures, and the tables were set with fresh flowers and silver candelabras. The private dining rooms made the place feel like a cozy private residence.

The cold table knife sliced through the tender steak, rich juices mixed with blood flowing along the sharp blade onto the snow-white plate.

Jiang Ying ate a bite of the beef and took a small sip of white wine.

"Does the food suit your taste?" asked Lu Zhixi, sitting opposite her.

"Mm, your arrangements are always perfect."

"I didn't expect that you could drink alcohol now, though."

Jiang Ying smiled and said, "Attending certain occasions always requires drinking. At first, I would secretly bring apple juice of a similar color, but that was just too troublesome. Before, I was simply unwilling to drink because I couldn't get past the mental hurdle, but later I found that tasting just a little bit doesn't lead to addiction; instead, it felt like untying a knot in my heart."

Lu Zhixi raised his eyes to look at her, his gaze then slowly falling upon her wine glass.

The crystalline liquid resembled an intoxicating lake under the lights, every single drop representing the time he had lost her.

He also revealed a smile. "If you don't mind drinking, I can have someone bring over a few fine bottles for you to taste tonight."

On Christmas Day, the general public basically dined at home with family and friends, and many restaurants closed for the holiday. However, the restaurant Lu Zhixi had chosen was managed by a company under his family's group, and today's meal was entirely a dedicated service exclusively for Jiang Ying.

Several bottles of wine were quickly brought over. Exquisitely packaged, low in alcohol content, they were all wines favored by women.

Jiang Ying did not dare to drink much, taking only a few sips and stopping at a state of slight intoxication. The just-right amount of alcohol made her even more relaxed, a soft flush creeping up her cheeks, and she talked just a little bit more.

She chatted with Lu Zhixi about the research projects she had undertaken over the past few years, the papers she had published, and mentioned that once she obtained her doctoral degree, she hoped to secure a suitable offer at a Boston institution to continue her research.

Lu Zhixi listened attentively, chiming in with a few words from time to time.

It was a perfect dinner; the atmosphere made Jiang Ying very comfortable, and they conversed to their hearts' content—a feeling she hadn't experienced in a very long time.

After the meal, Lu Zhixi drove her home, and she took the initiative to ask, "Would you like to come in for a bit?"

When Nono noticed a car parked at the gate, it immediately dashed to the door and sat down neatly, preparing to welcome its mother home.

The moment the door opened, however, it caught sight of a tall man. It walked over to this man, sniffed him, and remembering that it had seen him last time and had been petted very comfortably by him, it immediately started wagging its tail.

"Nono really likes you."

Lu Zhixi stroked the curly-haired puppy's head just as he had before, gazing into its bright, dark eyes with their long eyelashes.

"Her eyes are very beautiful. When I saw her, I felt as though I were seeing you."

"When I took Nono to the dog park before, a lot of people said she and I look a lot alike."

Jiang Ying retrieved an exquisite box from beside the Christmas tree and handed it to the man who was playing with Nono.

"I haven't wished you a happy birthday yet."

Lu Zhixi was startled. "Thank you."

They had already exchanged Christmas gifts while dining, and what Jiang Ying gave him was a luxury-brand tie clip and cufflink set without mentioning anything about his birthday, nor had Lu Zhixi intentionally brought it up.

He had thought Jiang Ying had forgotten.