Chapter 18: The Ex-Boyfriend

"I'm going to castrate that jerk Lu Zhixi! He actually dared to lie to you!"

Zhou Anning said through gritted teeth. Wielding a fruit knife, she vigorously sliced the bananas and apples on the plate, dumped them into a bowl, poured yogurt over them, and placed it in front of Jiang Ying. Then, her tone shifted to one of deep sympathy.

"Eat a little something. You haven't really eaten anything for three days."

Jiang Ying stared blankly at the bowl of yogurt. "I'm not hungry."

She paused, then added, "He didn't exactly lie to me. He just didn't tell me those things..."

"Being in a relationship is like going on a trip. He didn't say anything when you bought the tickets, and you only realized the destination was different after riding on the train with him for so long. Now he wants to get off first—if that’s not a scam, what is?"

Zhou Anning continued peeling an apple with a ferocity that suggested she was peeling Lu Zhixi’s head.

Yes, he had gotten off the train first.

Jiang Ying lowered her eyes, and tears began to fall again.

Zhou Anning’s heart ached for her.

"You still have me. Boyfriends are fleeting, but sisters are forever. Think about it: compared to Lu Zhixi, I’m just as good in every way, except for not having a 'big bird'!"

Jiang Ying was crying, but she couldn't help but laugh at the last part. "It’s not about the 'big bird'."

Zhou Anning: "Don't you like 'big birds'?"

Jiang Ying sniffled. "I do."

"Then look, the problem is solved! Your emotional needs—" Zhou Anning pointed a thumb at herself, "—are covered by me."

"And your physical needs—" She pointed out the window.

"The world is so big, are we going to be short of options? Isn't that all men are good for anyway? If it really comes to it, we have toys. They’re not only safer than men, but they also won't nag or demand that you lick them."

Under Zhou Anning’s earnest guidance, Jiang Ying’s spirits finally lifted a little. After eating the bowl of yogurt and fruit, she freshened up and slowly climbed into bed.

Zhou Anning pulled her back. "Don't sleep in the middle of the afternoon. Why don't we go out for a walk and get some fresh air?"

Ever since Jiang Ying had returned in a disheveled state two nights ago, she had been hiding in the dorm, spending most of her time lying in bed doing nothing, staring blankly into space, only falling asleep when she was absolutely exhausted. The only time she would move was when Zhou Anning dragged her out to eat.

This couldn't go on.

After much persuasion, Jiang Ying changed her clothes and went down to the dorm building with her.

The summer break was just past its midpoint, so there weren't many people on campus. A few student couples were walking around in the afternoon. They bought coffee at a café and walked slowly along the lake on the east side of the school. Perhaps it was some cruel joke of fate, but they ran into three couples in a row.

Jiang Ying said weakly, "I want to go back to the dorm."

Zhou Anning cursed her luck for not checking the horoscope before leaving, but she didn't insist on continuing their walk. She took Jiang Ying’s hand to head back, but just as they reached the dormitory area, the delivery station called to inform Zhou Anning that her IELTS score report had arrived.

"It's too far from here to the delivery point. Can you go back by yourself?"

Seeing Zhou Anning’s worried look, Jiang Ying chuckled. "I'm not a three-year-old. Go ahead, I'll see you at the dorm."

"Alright, I'll be back in a flash!" Zhou Anning took off running, intending to make it a quick trip.

Jiang Ying walked slowly toward the dormitory building.

As she turned a corner, she heard two girls walking together behind her, excitedly discussing someone being "so handsome" and asking if he had a girlfriend.

She paused, a certain person coming to mind.

Just the thought of him made her heart ache with a heavy, bitter sorrow, like wave after wave of a surging tide washing over her heart, threatening to turn into tears again.

She stood under a tree to calm herself, feeling helpless against her own unwarranted imagination.

How could Lu Zhixi still be here?

She took a deep breath, adjusted her emotions, passed through the bicycle shed under the dormitory building, and climbed the steps.

In her line of sight was a pair of familiar sneakers.

Jiang Ying slowly looked up and met the gaze of the boy in the baseball cap. She froze for a second, then instinctively tried to bypass him to head inside.

His clear, limpid eyes, which had once intoxicated her like honeyed wine, now seemed like a deceptive vortex, one that could shatter one's mind and leave them broken to pieces.

"Yingying," Lu Zhixi called out to stop her.

They hadn't seen each other for three days. Throughout the summer before this, they had been together every day—holding hands, hugging, kissing, making love, inseparable.

Three days felt as long as three years.

Jiang Ying stood stiffly in place, unable to speak.

She was afraid she would burst into tears.

They stood face-to-face in silence for a while before Lu Zhixi said, "I'm taking a flight back to the U.S. tomorrow afternoon."

Jiang Ying gave a numb, "Mm. Have a safe trip."

Lu Zhixi lowered his eyes, his long eyelashes trembling slightly, masking the look in his eyes.

"You hadn't replied to my messages, which is why I came to disturb you." His tone remained gentle, but with a newfound sense of detachment.

"There are still some things I bought for you in the apartment. I had someone pack them up and leave them there. The door code hasn't been changed; you can go stay there whenever you like, or contact the lawyer to handle the property transfer. I know you aren't in the mood for this right now, but I left the lawyer's contact information on the table in the living room, and I sent a copy to your WeChat as well."

The pleasant voice turned into meaningless noise in Jiang Ying’s ears, causing her thoughts to blur and her nose to sting.

Long after Lu Zhixi finished speaking, she finally looked up at him. "Zhixi, have you ever loved me?"

He didn't speak.

"Not even a little?"

Still no response.

Looking at his silent expression, Jiang Ying suddenly recalled details she had previously ignored. Every time she mentioned love, he never responded—he had indeed never lied to her.

It was she who had been too immersed in happiness, selectively ignoring the glaringly obvious clues.

Her eyes welled with tears, her lips trembling, but she said with a half-hearted, mocking tone, "Zhixi, you are surprisingly generous to someone you don't love."

Lu Zhixi stared at her intently. "This will make your life much easier in the future."

"What if I don't want any of this, and just want you to stay?"

He was suddenly taken aback.

Jiang Ying laughed.

As she laughed, tears streamed down her cheeks like raindrops, hanging off her fair chin with a heartbreaking luster.

"I’m just kidding. Zhixi, I don’t need your compensation, and I won't pester you."

She paused, then added, "I hope your life in the U.S. goes smoothly, and that you eventually find someone you truly love."

After saying this, Jiang Ying pushed the door open and walked into the dormitory.

She didn't look back, but she could feel that Lu Zhixi hadn't left. He was standing behind the glass door watching her, just as he had done on so many nights when he walked her back to the dorm.

Willpower supported her as she walked through the hallway and climbed the stairs.

Every step exhausted her entire strength.

When she reached the second floor, Jiang Ying bumped into the dorm manager, who was hurrying down the stairs carrying a bundle of white fur. As she got closer, she realized it was Holland, its face full of terror.

"Manager, what is going on?"

Jiang Ying reached out almost instinctively to hold the cat, which was being gripped by the scruff of its neck. Only then did she realize that Holland had become skin and bones, like a hollow cotton doll stuffed with wooden frames. It was terrified, but had no strength to struggle, curling up tremblingly as Jiang Ying held it tight.

The dorm manager said, "It’s too hot outside, and it ran into the dorm to get some air conditioning. Some students said it had stomatitis and some other disease. I didn't want to get involved, but a girl was terrified it would die in the dorm and spread an infection, so she made me chase it out."

"...It's so hot outside, and it's sick—how can it survive?"

"It’s pitiful, but there's nothing I can do. Between cats and dogs and people, who is more important? Don't hold it anymore; it won't be good if you get sick."

Jiang Ying didn't let go, telling the manager she would take it to the hospital soon. Seeing that Jiang Ying cared for the cat, the manager didn't insist, only warning her that she must not hide the cat in the dorm.

After the manager left, Jiang Ying held Holland and leaned against the wall, slowly squatting down.

"Holland, how can there be such cruel people?" she murmured.

The white cat raised its head and let out a weak meow, as if it understood what she meant.

Jiang Ying lowered her head and finally couldn't hold back her tears, breaking down into loud sobs while holding the cat.

*

"Stomatitis has caused it to go without food for a long time, which has now led to fatty liver disease. Besides that, a section of its intestine is clearly swollen, so it can't pass stool properly. Whether it survives will depend on how it responds to the IV fluids and medication over the next few days."

Jiang Ying hadn't expected Holland to be this sick, and her mood grew even heavier. She forced herself to pull it together to pay at the animal hospital’s front desk, then dragged her weary body to the infusion area.

Zhou Anning had already helped Holland get hooked up to an IV. "It’s so well-behaved. The nurse couldn't find a vein because it’s too thin, and it didn't even make a sound after being poked three times."

Jiang Ying pulled up a chair and sat next to the weakly lying Holland.

It seemed to remember that she was the one who had saved it from the manager, and let out a weak meow at her.

Jiang Ying smiled and reached out to gently scratch its chin. "Holland, you still remember me, huh?"

Holland meowed again, as if it understood.

Zhou Anning: "This little thing is quite smart, hey."

Jiang Ying stroked it gently, her palms touching its bony spine, not daring to apply any pressure. This frail little life was like a leaf withered in midsummer, seemingly ready to fall apart at the slightest touch.

She looked at Holland, her eyes misting over again.

"Anning, you know? When I met Lu Zhixi, I was just like Holland—barely hanging on to life."

Zhou Anning froze, then took her hand and listened quietly as she spoke.

"That was the beginning of my junior year. My dad had been hospitalized for alcoholic hepatitis. I was afraid that one day he would die in some place where no one knew him because of his drinking, so I was already prepared to drop out of school. It sounds stupid, doesn't it? Back then, I was struggling to study while planning to drop out, like I had lost my mind. My mother had already abandoned us, and I couldn't let anything happen to my father. The only solution I could think of was to follow him everywhere. I tried to numb myself with schoolwork and student activities, but every day at school was still filled with panic."

Jiang Ying looked up at the corner of the ceiling, her voice slow, low, and heavy with nasal congestion.