Chapter 36: Diligent and Eager to Learn

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Xu Chengyue stared at the envelope in her hands, indecisive for a moment.

Should she explain the ethics, moral codes, and patriarchal clan system of feudal society to a little girl? Should she lay this cruel reality bare before her eyes?

If she did, how would the girl live with herself in the years to come? Would she be trapped in endless pain and confusion, unable to find release? Or might she go to the extreme, never again able to reconcile herself with the world?

No. That would be far too cruel, far too condescending.

She was still so young. She should not be burdened with bitterness and hatred. Even in a feudal society, she could still have a beautiful future of her own.

Perhaps, when she grew older and read more books, she would gradually come to understand certain things. Perhaps she would never understand them at all. But that did not matter. Not everyone could see the world with their eyes wide open and perceive it in its entirety.

They could still live their own lives.

All these thoughts flashed past in an instant.

Xu Chengyue picked up her brush, but just as she was about to dip it in ink, she realized that the ink in the inkstone had dried slightly from her long deliberation.

She lifted the bowl of water beside the inkstone, added a little to it, and ground the ink a few times before beginning her letter.

*

At the Jian family residence.

For the past few days, Jian Tong had been distracted, eagerly awaiting the reply from Master Yueming.

At one moment, she worried that he had too many readers and that her letter would be lost among them, never to be noticed. At another, she feared that her choice of words had been inappropriate and would annoy him. The next instant, she worried that her questions were too childish and ridiculous, and that she should never have written them down to trouble someone else.

No one was obliged to resolve her doubts. Such behavior was truly too presumptuous.

Jian Tong drooped her brows and hung her head in dejection. She did not even have the energy to bicker with her elder brother.

“All right, all right. Look at you, day after day. Anyone who didn’t know better would think I was mistreating you. Here—your letter has arrived.”

Jian Hang spoke irritably.

“What? Is it Master Yueming’s reply?” Jian Tong cried in delighted surprise.

She snatched the letter anxiously and hurriedly tore it open.

Just as she was about to pull out the paper, she realized that someone was standing beside her. She raised her head and fixed Jian Hang with a stare.

“I’m going to read my letter now. Please leave, Elder Brother.”

But Jian Hang made no move to go. He shamelessly remained where he was.

“What privacy could a little girl like you possibly have? What’s written in that letter that I can’t see? I’m going to read it.”

Jian Hang did not make a habit of prying into other people’s private affairs. It was simply that, although his impression of Yueming had improved considerably, that did not mean he could truly trust a man whose real face he had never seen to exchange private letters with his sister. Naturally, he had to keep watch.

Jian Tong thought her brother remarkably tactless. She had made herself perfectly clear, yet he still had the nerve to remain there, completely ignoring her protests.

Never mind. She was magnanimous and would not quibble with him.

Jian Tong turned back and drew out the letter.

Jian Hang, shameless as ever, moved behind her and read along with her.

The letter was not long, barely a single page.

It began by praising Jian Tong, saying that she was kind-hearted, quick-minded, and eager to learn.

She was capable of showing sympathy and compassion even toward someone she did not know—even toward a little girl who existed only in the records of a book and had never truly existed at all.

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The letter went on to say that he had not answered her questions, not because he was unwilling to, but because answers obtained from someone else ultimately remained someone else’s knowledge. They would not resolve her original doubts; instead, they might lead her into even deeper questions.

She could only seek the answers for herself in books. He hoped she would always preserve that sharpness and insight, read more, observe more, and look carefully and think deeply about everything. She must not place her faith in things too readily.

Perhaps one day she would find the answers she sought. But when that day came, he hoped she would not become trapped in a dead end of her own making.

Above all else, the most important thing was that she must love herself.

At the end, he wished her a smooth road through life, with peace, joy, and good health.

The short letter left Jian Hang deeply moved. Yueming truly was a gentle-hearted man.

Yet he also worried that Jian Tong, having received no direct answers, might be disappointed. He hurriedly looked at her face.

But Jian Tong was not at all as dejected as he had imagined. Her eyes shone with astonishing brightness, like a little squirrel that had finally managed to dig a pine nut out of the snow on a winter’s day. Jian Hang felt that she was about to shriek with excitement.

Sure enough—

“Ahhhhh! Elder Brother, did you see that? Master Yueming said I’m kind-hearted, clever, and eager to learn! He even encouraged me to study hard! He’s wonderful—sob!”

Jian Tong was so excited that she forgot all of Mother’s lessons in propriety. She howled like a ghost and leaped about like a monkey.

“All right, all right. Look at you. Be careful that Mother doesn’t hear you and come over to punish you by making you copy books.”

Jian Hang rubbed his brows in exasperation.

His words brought the commotion in the room to an abrupt halt.

Jian Tong pulled back her feet, which had been about to spring into the air, stood properly, and then sat primly back down on her stool like a young lady.

“Master Yueming was absolutely right. I was thinking about it all wrong. If I have questions, of course I should solve them myself. How could I simply repeat someone else’s ideas? From now on, I must study even harder!” Jian Tong declared solemnly.

*

“Madam Xu! Madam Xu! Is anyone there?”

A middle-aged woman knocked on the Xu family’s gate.

“Coming, coming!”

Xia He, lively by nature, called out repeatedly as she hurried to open the door.

She lifted the latch and pulled it open.

A familiar woman stood outside.

Oh, right—it was Madam Zhou from the neighboring household. They had met before, but so much time had passed, and the young mistress rarely went out to socialize with the neighbors, that Xia He had nearly forgotten her.

“Madam Zhou, please come in.”

Xia He pushed the door wider and gestured for her to enter, then walked ahead to lead the way.

Their courtyard was not large, and Xu Chengyue had heard the commotion long before. She stepped out of the room and greeted Madam Zhou.

“Madam Zhou, please, come inside and sit.”

She wondered why Madam Zhou, with whom she had never had much contact, had come to visit them today.

This was also Madam Zhou’s first time entering Xu Chengyue’s home. Without revealing anything, she quietly surveyed the courtyard and the furnishings inside. At a glance, she realized that Madam Xu’s background differed somewhat from what she had imagined.

The furnishings were simple, but it was clear that considerable thought had gone into them. Every plant and object, including the painting hung on the wall and the folding screen, was carefully chosen. The whole place was refined and serene, almost as though it had stepped straight out of a painting.

Madam Xu did not look as if she had been born into an ordinary commoner’s household. On any other day, Madam Zhou might not have cared, but today she had come with a particular purpose. She could not help feeling a jolt of uncertainty, wondering whether she would succeed.

No matter. If it worked, it would be a good deed accomplished. If it did not, there would be no real harm done.

Qiulu came to serve tea. Her movements were smooth and practiced, and Madam Zhou watched her without blinking.

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It was not until the teacup was placed before her that Madam Zhou returned to herself.

“Thank you, thank you.”

“We’re neighbors, after all. In principle, we ought to visit one another more often. But the gate of your household is usually closed, and I didn’t feel it would be proper to intrude. So today I’ve taken the liberty of paying you a visit.”

Madam Zhou was skilled at social pleasantries. She could hardly announce her purpose the moment they met, so she chatted with apparent warmth and familiarity.

“Madam Zhou, you’re too polite. Whenever you wish to come, you need only knock.”

Xu Chengyue did not mean that in the slightest. She desperately hoped Madam Zhou would never come again. She hated speaking with people who were neither strangers nor acquaintances; the awkwardness made her intensely uncomfortable.

If the other person had been a complete stranger, she could have been more at ease, speaking frankly without so many scruples, like the old woman who had once sold her soybean oil.

Or if they had been as familiar as Lord Lu, that would have been fine as well. At least she would not have had to sit there now, making dry conversation and exchanging empty pleasantries.

“Ah, then I certainly won’t stand on ceremony in the future,” Madam Zhou said cheerfully.

Please—by all means, never come again!

Xu Chengyue screamed inwardly, while smiling and nodding on the outside to show her agreement.

“I noticed that you speak the official language so well, Madam Xu. May I ask where you’re from? Perhaps we even share the same ancestral home.”

Madam Zhou was probing her.

“I came from the north.”

In her previous life, Xu Chengyue had indeed been a northerner. In this life, she ought to have come from Xiangzhou. But there was no way she would state that plainly. She remained deeply wary of others.

As though she had not noticed Xu Chengyue’s deliberate evasion, Madam Zhou suddenly understood.

“Oh, so you’re from the north. No wonder you have such an open and imposing air.”

She then asked whether Xu Chengyue’s parents were still alive, how many people were in her household, and why she had come to this place.

Madam Zhou imagined that she was being tactful, as though these questions had arisen by chance. To Xu Chengyue, however, her intentions were painfully obvious. She might as well have openly announced that she intended to investigate every detail of Xu Chengyue’s life, from beginning to end. Xu Chengyue was so irritated that she wished the woman would leave at once.

Madam Zhou was growing anxious as well. Madam Xu was so tight-lipped that after chatting for half a day, she had learned absolutely nothing.

She had no choice but to speak plainly.

“Madam Xu, I won’t conceal the truth from you. As the saying goes, no one visits the temple without a reason. I came today to tell you about a happy matter.”

The words made Xu Chengyue’s heart lurch.

The last time she had heard them was at the Xu family home, when Madam Sun had wanted to marry her off to the Yang family’s son.

“You see, you’re living here alone. It isn’t easy for a young woman to make her way in the world by herself. You really ought to find a gentleman to rely on. That way, those petty villains won’t dare bully you either.”

Madam Zhou took a sip of tea to moisten her throat and spoke earnestly.

Xu Chengyue was numb with disbelief. Did she really look that in need of matchmaking? Why did everyone keep taking it upon themselves to arrange her marriage?

“Madam Xu, don’t be alarmed. I have no intention of harming you. It’s only that all the neighbors have families, living together in harmony and happiness, while you are here all alone. I truly cannot bear to see it.”

Xu Chengyue was baffled. Were Qiulu and Xia He not people?

“Thank you for your concern, Madam Zhou, but I have no intention of marrying yet.”

“Don’t say that. Hear me out before you reject the proposal.”

Madam Zhou began rehearsing her words silently, replacing the family she had originally chosen with a better one.

She had not come to make enemies. Marriage required matching social standing and suitable partners. She had initially assumed that Xu Chengyue came from an ordinary household, but now it seemed she had underestimated her.

“What I should have said to your parents, of course, but unfortunately they aren’t here. A young lady who dares venture out into the world alone must possess some ability and courage, and I imagine you are not overly bound by conventional propriety. So I’ll speak to you directly.”

Xu Chengyue cast a pleading look toward Qiulu and Xia He. She truly could not endure another moment. Someone, please save her!

But the two women were helpless as well. One could not bring herself to speak harshly, while the other could not use cruel words against someone who was being polite.

Poor Xu Chengyue was left utterly without aid.

“The Tan family is a merchant household,” Madam Zhou continued. “Their son, Tan Jun, is handsome and accomplished. He began helping his father manage the family business at an early age and has traveled far and wide. Through the efforts of the entire family, the Tan household is now prospering more and more. The only regret is that they have yet to find their son a good wife.”