Chapter 37: Scumbag Emotional Literacy Class 3

Chapter 37: The Scumbag’s Relationship Seminar (3)

Of Gao Yun’s five past relationships, the breakups of the first three were, to varying degrees, caused by his lack of emotional value, with the impact decreasing in intensity over time.

The breakup with his first love, in particular, was the most unforgettable. Beyond the inherent significance of a first love, another reason for the split was that he knew absolutely nothing about what "emotional value" meant at the time.

The common belief that first loves rarely last, or the saying that "one generation plants the trees under whose shade the next generation rests" when it comes to love, exists precisely because when people are romantic novices, one or both parties are unable to provide the other with the correct emotional value.

Only after being tempered by several relationships, or by studying relevant theories to improve one's own emotional value, can one reduce the likelihood of breaking up due to this factor.

"Emotional value?" Diao Jun rubbed his chin. "I've heard that term in a book about [XXX]."

"The term 'emotional value' comes from psychology; [XXX] is just borrowing it. Also, it’s fine for friends to joke around and call me a scumbag, but please, never call me [XXX]."

Gao Yun explained, "The word 'scumbag' is heavily overused these days. It has morphed from a purely derogatory term into a neutral one. Many girls even feel a spark of curiosity when they hear someone is a scumbag. So, when you call me a scumbag or a player, if a girl overhears it, you're actually giving me an assist."

"But [XXX] is different. Those are criminals; they are societal trash. At most, I just understand psychology better than the average person. I know how to pursue girls and navigate relationships, but I have never abandoned or toyed with anyone's feelings. I don't even qualify as a traditional scumbag."

Gao Yun then steered the conversation back to the original topic.

"So, what is emotional value? Or rather, how should it be manifested?"

Seeing the group deep in thought, Gao Yun gestured in a circle and said, "Take the six of us friends here. We are drinking, eating, chatting, and joking around—it’s very enjoyable. This is emotional value; we are providing it to one another."

"To give a more detailed example, the poem Diao Jun just recited was both humorous and insightful. Everyone’s spirits were lifted. With that poem, Diao Jun provided everyone here with high emotional value."

As the others began to grasp the concept, Gao Yun continued, "Including right now, as I explain these insights on love and male-female dynamics—you didn't know these things before, but now that I've laid them out, you find them useful. On a small scale, it’s me bragging and you enjoying it; on a larger scale, I am resolving your confusion, guiding your future, and reshaping your perceptions of love and relationships. I am currently providing you all with high emotional value as well."

At this point, Gao Yun picked up a bottle of beer. "Come on, let's have a drink first. Take some time to digest what I've just said."

"Cheers, let's go!"

"Let's all toast Teacher Gao!"

The group clinked bottles and drank heartily. Once the beer was down, Gao Yun continued with his lecture, speaking with effortless eloquence.

"In any human relationship—romantic, platonic, or familial—there is emotional value. My previous example was about emotional value in friendship; that’s relatively simple. Friends just need to be happy together; no other complex emotions are required. Familial love is similar; it’s even simpler with parents—there’s no need for beating around the bush."

"Of all relationships, romantic love is the most complex, and its demands for emotional value are the most rigorous."

"When in a relationship, you must not only provide positive emotional value—such as making her happy, or showing off your knowledge so she admires you—but you must also minimize the output of your own negative emotions. What are negative emotions? They are the things we brothers vent about when we hit setbacks in our careers or lives."

Gao Yun began to give examples: "'Damn, my salary got cut again this month; the company might go under this year.' Or, 'Sigh, my parents were just diagnosed with a health issue; what am I going to do?'"

Such statements are the output of negative emotions.

You can vent these things to your brothers and family. They won't abandon you because of these troubles; instead, they will encourage you and help you get back on your feet.

But you can't do that with women. A woman always needs her partner to be a strong individual. It is an instinct, determined by genetics, and unaffected by other factors. Once you output too much negative emotion, a woman will perceive you as weak and will heartlessly cast you aside.