Chapter 36: Idle Chatter

Chapter 36: Casual Talk

Gao Yun took a sip of wine and glanced around. Although some friends were eating meat and others drinking, everyone had quieted down, no longer joking, waiting for him to speak. Satisfied, he cleared his throat twice and said, “Then I’ll say a few words.”

“Please, Teacher Gao, go ahead!”

“We’re all listening.”

Gao Yun pondered for a few seconds and then slowly asked, “Do you know why a woman is willing to fall in love with or marry a man?”

Diao Jun blurted out, “Money!”

Liu Ximing added, “Looks.”

“To treat her well and take care of her.”

“A sense of security, humor.”

“A house, a car, talent.”

“Two people with compatible personalities and shared interests.”

The group rattled off many reasons when suddenly Zhou Tian jumped in, “Isn’t it because of love?”

“Love? Tsk tsk.”

“Sigh, you’re still young!”

Everyone seemed to hear something unbelievable. Their faces varied—some shook their heads with a sigh, some clicked their tongues in amazement, others fell silent.

Diao Jun sneered aloud, “No money, not handsome, you’re nothing. Who the hell would love you?”

Wang Xiaole smacked his lips, “Love is like a ghost—I’ve only seen it on TV or in movies; never in real life.”

“Exactly!” Gao Yun nodded, raising his bottle to clink with his friends. “Everything you said except for love is right!”

“To the existence or non-existence of love—drink up!”

“Cheers!”

Everyone took a sip. Gao Yun clapped his hands sharply, drawing their attention back to him, and began, “What you just mentioned, I call it value! Utilitarian value! Or simply, use value.”

“Utilitarian value is a common attribute of all commodities. For anything to become a commodity, it must have value for human use; conversely, items without use value won’t become commodities—or if they do, no one wants them, and they don’t sell.”

“People are the same. People have utilitarian value, especially in relationships between men and women, where this is even more important.”

Pausing to let the words sink in, he gave them a few seconds to think before continuing in a calm, serious tone.

“We must soberly realize that the essence of dating or marriage is a business, nothing else! Single men and women are commodities as well as their own salespeople. If your ‘product’ has no value—no house, no car, no savings, unattractive and strange personality—”

“You’re essentially unsalable goods. No matter how good your sales pitch is, once your true self shows, you’ll be abandoned.”

“On the other hand, if your ‘product’ has high value—good looks, talent, a villa, luxury car, and sky-high utilitarian value—you’re a hot commodity, never worrying about selling.”

“Clap!” Wang Xiaole slapped his hands and nodded, “Right, that’s it, you explained it clearly! Everyone understand?”

“Understand! Everyone gets the idea, just not systematic.”

“Teacher Gao, you’re the best! Let’s have another round!”

“To the brilliant lesson—cheers!”

They laughed and exchanged drinks until Diao Jun suddenly perked up, joking and scolding, “You almost had me going in circles. But you never said why you didn’t try to hold her back, just watched her leave. Daria’s my friend, such a great girl—what were you thinking?!”

“Yeah! What were you thinking?”

“Don’t you want to keep wandering around?”

“Even if you, Ah Yun, aren’t ready to settle down and want to play around a few more years, there’s no reason to let her go. Keep her in Hushi for now and see how it goes. You’re not broke; if it really doesn’t work out, then break up.”

Even the seasoned Wang Xiaole frowned a bit, puzzled. “You two just got back together a few days ago, and now you’re long-distance, not seeing each other for another month. To me, that’s basically a breakup. What’s the point of getting back together?”

The others caught on too, looking at Gao Yun, wanting to hear his explanation.

“Sigh.” Gao Yun shook his head. “You guys still don’t get what I just said.”

Seeing their confused faces, Gao Yun resumed his teacher role, holding a bamboo skewer like a pointer, tapping the table with a crisp “pa pa” sound, like knocking on a blackboard.

“As I said, the reason men and women date or marry is because they have mutual utilitarian value. So why do couples break up or divorce? Naturally, because one party no longer has utilitarian value!”

“What does losing utilitarian value mean? It means you are no longer useful to her. She looks down on you, despises you.”

Gao Yun stated firmly, “There is no other reason! Even if there seems to be, it’s just superficial. The essence is always that one party has lost utilitarian value to the other. This is an iron rule!”

“So!” Gao Yun shifted tone, “Talking about ‘holding on’ or ‘winning back’ is a false proposition. It doesn’t exist. If you have value, there’s no need to hold on—a woman won’t leave. Even if she leaves, she’ll come back. If you have no value, no matter how much you try, she will leave without looking back!”

“That’s why I didn’t hold back Daria. Got it?”

“That can’t be right!” Zhou Tian looked doubtful. “Brother Yun, you know my last relationship wasn’t because of material value or anything like that. I treated her well. What about that?”

“Yeah!” A Hua scratched his head in confusion. “What about Xiao Tian’s situation?”

Everyone present knew Zhou Tian’s previous relationship: the woman was a local civil servant, matched in family background and material conditions, introduced through matchmaking. Zhou Tian wasn’t as overweight back then and was quite handsome. The girl was pretty, their interests, temperaments, and traits aligned well. Overall, they were a perfect match in every way.

Yet this very compatible couple broke up after only four months, and the girl dumped Zhou Tian.

Since then, Zhou Tian, once ambitious, had given up on himself, binge eating and playing computer games. His weight skyrocketed, and he grew increasingly despondent.

So what was wrong with that relationship?

Zhou Tian cared too much for the girl, attentive to every detail, always considerate and caring. At first, she felt happy, but over time developed a sense of entitlement.

“You should treat me well. You’re my boyfriend. If you don’t, we’ll break up. Anyway, you like me, and with the gender imbalance nowadays, maybe the next guy will treat me better.”

Many women are like this; only a rare few are truly wise and understand that no one owes anyone kindness—relationships are reciprocal.

So was their breakup due to the loss of utilitarian value on one side?

Yes!

“Emotional value!”

“Emotional value is also a kind of utilitarian value,” Gao Yun sighed, wearing an expression as if recalling painful memories. “Before dating, it’s not obvious. You rely on other values like money, looks, and talent to attract a girl. But once you’re officially in a relationship, emotional value becomes far more important than any other value. Looks, house, car, money—all come after it.”

The content in these last three chapters may cause discomfort for some readers; if you dislike it, you may skip ahead to chapters 29 or 30.

(End of Chapter)