Chapter 45: I can do this all day

"Move, move, move! Don't just stand there! Can't you see you're blocking the damn way? I really don't know what these new 'sinners' are fed on, every single one of you is as tall and thick as a tree stump..."

Behind Steve, a creature with a mouthful of yellow, pointed teeth and two huge, serval-like ears walked up impatiently, shoving Steve roughly to the side. He only stood as tall as Steve's waist. Judging by his voice, he was male, dressed in a slightly old-fashioned black dress coat, and holding some objects that looked roughly like money.

"Are you a newcomer? Are you here to fight in the war, or to place a bet? Battlefield registration is that way on the left, placing bets is on the right."

"Wait, please wait!" Steve couldn't help but grab him—this was the first creature he had seen speak English since arriving in this strange place. "Where on earth is this?"

"Where is this?" The 'serval' stopped in his tracks, baring his yellow teeth and narrowing his eyes as he repeated Steve's question. "Good question, sinner, this is the 'Pride Ring'."

"And what is the 'Pride Ring'?" Steve asked blankly. "Also, why do you call me a 'sinner'?"

"Why do you talk so much nonsense? You're a sinner, and I'm a sinner! We're called that because God has judged us all guilty! As for where the Pride Ring is..." The 'serval' cackled. "It's in Hell, of course!! You're dead, newbie, and unluckily for you, you'll be living in this district forever!"

"..."

Steve Rogers, the current Captain America, even though a cascade of questions popped into his mind—*Am I dead? How did I die? Even if I'm dead, why am I in Hell?*—and inevitably fell into a state of shock, did not lose his mind in panic. Instead, he managed to stay close behind the 'serval' in front of him, pretending not to notice the creature's increasingly obvious irritation.

He walked briskly beside the 'serval'—the height difference forcing him to shuffle forward in tiny steps—and pursued the conversation: "Uh, so you're saying this is a region in Hell called the Pride Ring? Were you a human in life?"

"Fucking obviously. Didn't you hear me speaking English?"

The residents of Hell really had bad tempers; truly worthy of Hell, Steve thought with inner reflection, though he didn't mind. "What should I call you?"

"Hmm..." The 'serval' mused, "Just call me John. My name isn't important; what's important is that I'm in charge of the casino in this district. If you've wasted this much of my time today and can't make me back a few pennies of profit, I'll use your head to scrub the toilet."

"Alright, John," Steve completely ignored the latter part of his sentence. "I noticed you mentioned earlier that the Pride Ring is at war. What happened here?"

"It's a long story." John put his hands behind his back, raising an eyebrow to study Steve, his eyes flashing with an evaluating, evil light. "Newbie, you need to know that there are 'Seven Rings' in Hell, meaning seven regions distributed in parallel from top to bottom. Among them, the 'Pride Ring' is the uppermost layer, and also the place where sinners like you and me are locked up. You can find every wicked wretch who has died from ancient times to the present, from Earth to the universe, right here—assuming they didn't die from war and the 'Great Extermination'."

Just as Steve was concentrating on digesting the intelligence in John's words, he heard John ask out of nowhere, "What crime did you commit in your lifetime?"

Uh...

Generally speaking, even when criminals loudly proclaim to a judge that they have been wronged, they are not entirely oblivious to the fact that they have stolen, broken the law, and committed crimes; they are merely taking a gamble. But at this moment, faced with John's question, Steve desperately wanted to say sincerely: I don't know, I feel I've been terribly wronged.

Where is the lawyer? Is there any chance to go see the Almighty Himself and plead my case?

Yet in an unfamiliar and dangerous environment, behaving too differently either made one a fool blind to risk or an arrogant madman. Steve was neither. After a moment of thought, he conservatively said, "Probably murder."

"Tch, nobody in the Pride Ring hasn't killed someone." John asked dismissively, "Have you killed more people than the Nazis?"

He had used this question to deflate countless greenhorns newly arrived in Hell, ruthlessly crushing the arrogance of a bunch of ignorant upstarts, but this time he had hit a solid wall. The big, foolish newcomer in front of him looked neither panicked nor bewildered upon hearing the question, and replied in a tone that could only be described as humorous: "As it happens, the ones I killed *were* Nazis."

"..."

John's ears perked up, his eyes widening as he looked up at Steve, who returned an innocent look.

After a few seconds of silence, John jumped up to hit him: "Are you fucking treating me like a fool?! What era is this, where are there Nazis for you to kill? And are you going to tell me next that you fought in World War II too??"

Steve, who had genuinely fought in World War II: ...

John's blows didn't hurt at all. Steve neither fought back nor refuted him, but instead urged him once more: "I've already told you everything I know, so what on earth happened in the Pride Ring?"

"Hoh." John sneered, looking at Steve with mockery as he said, "We're fighting World War III here."

"..."

John was quite satisfied to see that the newcomer, who had consistently appeared calm and collected, finally showed a dazed expression upon hearing 'World War III'. This allowed him to recover a bit of his seniority-based superiority, and he continued his popular science lecture: "The main battlefield is between those two piles of dog shit, the Sinestro Corps and the Nazis, though some smaller factions got dragged into it as well. After all, the Pride Ring is only this tiny patch of land, so it couldn't be helped. Don't go thinking you can play both sides, or just brag to me—sooner or later, you'll see the real deal on the battlefield."

This time, Steve fell silent for a long time before letting out a soft sigh and asking, "The Sinestro Corps and the Nazis? Does the former refer to the Sinestro Corps? How did they end up fighting?"

"God knows," John said indifferently. "I heard it's because the Red Skull ambushed Sinestro's squeeze."

Steve's mouth slowly opened, wider and wider—it was only then that he realized, not only did John look like a serval after death despite being human in life, but he himself had also turned into some other form. The proof was that human jaws simply could not open to such an angle, though unfortunately there were no reflective planes like mirrors or water around to let him see what he had turned into.

Yet even becoming a new species could not dispel his astonishment at hearing the names of old acquaintances at this moment: "The Red Skull? He's in Hell? And whose... romantic partner is Sinestro's? Is she in Hell too?"

To think that people who never had the chance to meet in the vast universe during their lifetimes would end up meeting in the very same Hell after death.

What a wonderful creation of nature, what a wonderful twist of fate?!

"No, no, no. The Red Skull died, but I heard Sinestro's partner isn't dead yet, and it's not a 'she', it's a 'he'." John had no idea how shocking his words were. "The Red Skull hired hitmen to kill people in the mortal realm, which broke a taboo. The Sinestro Corps in Hell flew into a rage, swearing to get justice for the living. The Red Skull was affiliated under Hitler's command, so the two factions started fighting."

Steve: "Hitler is still alive? I mean, he hasn't died yet? Never mind, you know what I mean."

"Sinners are immortal," John flashed a meaningful smile. "We can be killed, but we do not naturally perish, so of course Hitler is still alive. Even Ivan the Terrible, Charles I... some of these ancients are still hanging on by luck. You'll gradually experience the feeling of longevity later on; let's not get into that for now. Where was I? Oh, Hitler. Later on, Hitler discovered that the Red Skull was a homosexual..."

"What?!" Steve interrupted John once more in disbelief.

"Really." John wasn't angry, because he himself had become quite enthusiastic upon reaching this part of the story. "Homosexuality was on the Nazi extermination list, so naturally Hitler flew into a rage. Guess who the Red Skull's secret crush was?" Before Steve could speak, he declared with absolute certainty, "It's Captain America!!"

"——Nonsense!!"

"Huh?" John slanted a glance at Steve, who looked somewhat flustered. "I said the Red Skull has a secret crush on Captain America, what are you getting so worked up for? You wouldn't happen to like either of them, would you?"

"I... You!!" Steve puffed up a size in indignation, but suddenly remembering that he was already dead, he deflated again. "Sigh, whatever, anyway this is all utter nonsense, and Hydra definitely deserved to go to Hell."

"Fine, if you say so." Figuring the newbie must harbor a one-sided crush on Captain America to react so strongly, John continued, "Anyway, Hitler, the Sinestro Corps, and the Red Skull's factions are fighting fiercely. Rumor has it that to back up his squeeze, Sinestro didn't hesitate to kill his own subordinates and send them to Hell to help out, so the Sinestro Corps probably isn't going to back down an inch. This war looks like it's going to be a fight to the death."

Hearing this, Steve was already somewhat numb. He made no comment on Sinestro's actions, only asking, "Didn't you say sinners don't die?"

"There is one kind of weapon that can kill sinners," John said flatly. "Angelic weapons. You're probably going to ask again how equipment used by angels ended up in Hell. The answer is simple. Hell is overpopulated, so angels come down every year to slaughter a batch of people—this is the 'Great Extermination' I mentioned earlier. After the slaughter, the angels don't take all their weapons back; the ones left behind flow into the black market in Hell, becoming tools for us to butcher each other."

"This..." Steve's heart trembled at the sheer volume of information leaked in his words. "Was it intentional by the angels?"

"Who knows?" John shrugged. "I only know one thing: as for the wars in Hell, from Heaven to Hell, everyone is happy to see them happen, and absolutely no one will step in to stop them. That's why I can make a fortune out of it. Well? Hearing all this, do you plan to get involved? You look like you can handle yourself. If you can make a name for yourself on the battlefield, you might not have to worry about food or drink for decades to come."

Steve looked far off into the distance at the battlefield. Sinners sinking into damnation in Hell held sharp blades, engaging in close combat on the barren reddish-brown soil. Bullets and artillery shells blessed by Heaven's sanctity trailed faint gray smoke across the sky, kicking up flying dust upon impact.

At a glance, Hell looked no different from the mortal world.

"I haven't decided whether to join the war yet; I need to observe the situation more closely first."

What Steve said was actually a pretext to gain a more detailed understanding of Hell's ecosystem and its relationship with the mortal world and Heaven. "Thank you, John, I have one last question. Where do they get those angelic weapons?"

"——I need a shield."

***

Romanu, a Sergeant of the Hell Sinestro Corps Army and leader of the Third Squad, was currently sitting in his tent conducting his routine confession. In theory, if demons could sincerely turn over a new leaf, they could ascend to Heaven; yet Romanu had been praying to God every night for half a month without the slightest sign of vertical levitation.